Spitzer Breathes Sigh of Relief, Joins Bill Clinton Club; John Edwards Officially Banged Hussy

Somewhere in a tony, wood-paneled washington hotel that condones unprotected anal sex with female prostitutes who have magic ******s, Eliot Spitzer is breathing a Massive Sigh of Relief; "I'm finally outta da spotlight!".

And Ashley Dupree is cursing; -"That should be MY seven whore diamond spotlight moment, dammit!".

Strike Up The Band,

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Posted by elburro on 08/ 9/08 | Email to a friend | Comments (0)
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Chris Rock Says It's All Silda Spitzer's Fault

If this segment of Chris Rock's "Bigger and Blacker" is any indication of a general philosophy, I think Chris would agree that whatever wacky shit Eliot wanted that would have "Seemed Unsafe", as the quote goes, was first and foremost Silda Wall Spitzer's responsibility as duly appointed Freaky-Male-Libido-Kink Goalie.

Silly rabbit, Trix Are For Kids! -vid of Chris after the jump

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Posted by elburro on 04/ 1/08 | Email to a friend | Comments (0)
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Love Jim Cramer and His Bear Stearns Advice

BOO-YAAAAAHH! -HOLD ON TO THOSE SHARES OF BEAR STEARNS, SKEEE DADDY!!!
-wait. I never said such a thing. -when you said "money" I thought you meant a different kind of "money", see?...

Priceless Follow-up by YouTube User malcolmmceasy after the jump!

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Posted by elburro on 04/ 1/08 | Email to a friend | Comments (0)
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Congratulations Señor Valdez! -Jou Are No Longer a Cocaine Mule!

Jou are now El Capitaine of a Submarine made from plans in the back pages of El Popular Mechanics Magazine!

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Posted by elburro on 04/ 1/08 | Email to a friend | Comments (0)
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Man in Cockfosters Cocks Up Engagement Ring Plans, Ends Up With Bells In Sling

So this nice guy, Lefkos Hajji, has a florist put a $12k engagement ring in a helium balloon, so that his sweetie can pop it when he gives it to her. -The Olde 'Pop' the question pun was his aim, I guess.

He steps out of the shop, a gust of wind comes by and tears

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Posted by elburro on 04/ 1/08 | Email to a friend | Comments (0)
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